


You Are Special

by BlackRosesTears



Series: World Suicide Prevention Day One-Shots [1]
Category: Big Bang (Band)
Genre: 2014, M/M, Sad, suicideprevention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-19 10:15:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29997852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackRosesTears/pseuds/BlackRosesTears
Summary: Everybody is important, nobody can play your part.Jiyong gave up on his life, he didn't believe that he will ever have a normal good life with somebody who loves him.But then he met a guy named Youngbae and his life seems to be brighter, better with him...
Relationships: Dong Youngbae | Taeyang/Kwon Jiyong | G-Dragon
Series: World Suicide Prevention Day One-Shots [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2206656





	You Are Special

** To write love on her arms **

His life is horrible. He was born in a broken family. His father gambles and drinks more than his wife earns with her job as a cashier in the local supermarket. He beats her when the money is gone and he is not able to gamble or buy alcohol anymore.  
His mother has depressions and after her husband beats her she will go to her son and beat him.  
She blames him for everything. Her problems, the problems of her husband. Everything.  
  
The life of the 18 years old Kwon Jiyong is horrible. Not only because of the problems of his parents. No that wouldn't be that bad. His biggest problem is when they tell him how worthless he is and life would be better without him. But the worst part is that he can’t say they are wrong because actually Jiyong thinks they are right.  
Because all these years of his life, Jiyong had to be afraid that his mother will hurt him every single day.  
So he started to stay out of the house till late in the night. Because of that, he was always tired during school and his grades started to fall. His teachers one by one gave up on him after time passed by and nothing changed. They know that Jiyong is really intelligent, in fact, he could be one of the top students but they don't understand why he doesn't want that and actually they don't really care. They want to stay out of the lives of their students after there were some problems with another one in the past.  
  
But back to Jiyong... With 13, he started to smoke and with 14 he smoked weed for the first time. Cutting himself became something normal, it was a part of his life since all of this crap started.  
Yes, Jiyong has a fucked up life but hey, nobody cares and Jiyong gave up a long time ago.  
When Jiyong was still a kid, he had the dream of becoming a singer or songwriter. He thought that someday an angel would come and save him from the life he lived until then but after 18 years the long awaited angel still hadn't shown up and Jiyong gave up on this now ridiculous dream of a better life.  
  
It is a cold day in November and Jiyong is walking around in the big city looking for an occasion to get some money for his drugs. Then there finally is one right in front of him. An old granny is crossing the street and looks like she needs some help. Jiyong walks to her.  
“Excuse me. Do you need help?” He asks the granny with a smile.  
He has to earn her trust so she wouldn't realize that Jiyong will steal her money while they cross the street.  
“Oh, thank you, young man. It would be nice if you could help me.” The granny answers.  
“There is no need to thank me, madam. It is something natural to help people who need help.”  
Jiyong says and helps her crossing the street. Neither the people around them nor the granny see the hand which creeps into the bag of the granny and takes out the purse of her.  
He puts her purse into the back pocket of his jeans.  
“Thanks again young man for your help. Is there a way I can show you my gratitude?”  
“Oh no, there is no need. The smile on your face is enough.”  
Jiyong bows to the granny and after saying goodbye he walks away.  
  
After 15 minutes of walking, Jiyong is sure that the granny is no longer around and possible victims who saw the scene too.  
He walks into the park where he loved to play when he was younger and sits down on a bench.  
He takes out the purse of the granny to count the money.  
“Crap, only ten Dollar?! Not more? I can buy cigarettes with that money but I need more if I want to buy my stuff.” Jiyong mumbles to himself.  
He looks up and scans the park for his next victim but unfortunately, there are no grannies who are easy to steal from. Only couples who are all lovey dovey.  
“Uhhg. I think I need to throw up if I have to watch these stupid couples more. Why do they have to show everybody that they are in love? They will probably all break up. There is no love in this world only hate.”  
Jiyong hears that somebody is sitting down next to him and then the voice of the person.  
“Why are you so negative? Isn't love something beautiful?”  
“Excuse me? Love doesn't exist. All these guys just want to fuck the girls they are with and the girls are okay with it because the guys buy them everything they want.”  
“Why do you think so? I mean sure there maybe are some couples who are like that but I don't think that every couple is like that.”  
“That is what I think. I was never in love with a girl and I will never be. I never saw the so called true love in my entire life.”  
“I think you are jealous, jealous because they have somebody to love and you haven't found this person yet. But don't give up you will find your soul mate soon.”  
“Who do you think you are to tell me something ridiculous like that?”  
Jiyong is almost yelling at the guy. Who does this stranger think he is to tell Jiyong these lies?  
“Oh, didn't I introduce myself? Sorry, my name is Dong Youngbae. And you are?”  
The boy called Youngbae says and offers his hand to Jiyong for a handshake.  
“I'm Kwon Jiyong,” Jiyong says but he doesn’t touch the others hand.  
Youngbae takes back his hand.  
“You asked me who I am to tell you something about love. Well, I have no idea if you have to be someone close to another person to speak about love but right now I just wanted to say this to you because you seemed like a lost person.”  
Jiyong frowns. This guy talks like he knows him but in fact, they just met.  
So Jiyong decides to tell him exactly what he is thinking right now.  
“Stop talking to me, you have no idea who I am! Just go away!”  
He yells at Youngbae but the said man doesn’t show any reaction.  
Then suddenly he starts to laugh.  
“What is so funny?” Jiyong yells at Youngbae. He is confused. He yelled at a man he just met but instead of getting angry he just laughs?!  
“I'm sorry. I shouldn't laugh. It's just that you know that I'm right. So you yelled at me.”  
“What? When did I say that you are right?”  
“People who yell are always wrong.”  
Jiyong is puzzled. This guy is definitely weird.  
“You are weird.”  
“Thank you. You are not the first person who tells me that.”  
“...”  
“Do you want to talk about the reason why you don't believe in love?” Youngbae asks Jiyong.  
“Not with you. I don't know you, we just met.”  
“I'm Dong Youngbae. I'm 20 years old and I study medicine. I'm living on my own because both of my parents passed away. I'm currently single. I like to work out, reading and singing... Oh, and I love dancing. I took dance lessons when I was in high school. So you know more about me. Let's hang out so you can know me even better.”  
Jiyong is puzzled once again because Youngbae was able to amaze him with everything he said.  
“Why do you want to know me? I'm nothing special.”  
“Who says that you are nothing special?”  
“Nobody says so but there nobody that says the something else.”  
“Jiyong, everybody is special. You are not an exception.”  
“Why am I special? I'm everything but normal and I'm useless.”  
“Who decides what the definition of normal is?” Youngbae asks surprised.  
“What do you mean?”  
“Who has the right to say that you are not normal? Who says that this person is normal?”  
“I don't want to talk about this. Please leave me alone.”  
“Why?”  
“I don't like it when you say that I am special or normal. I don't deserve such nice words.”  
Youngbae sees the tears in the corner of the smaller males’ eyes.  
No, he doesn’t want to leave him alone. Youngbae feels bad for Jiyong.  
“I have a better idea,” Youngbae says and takes Jiyong by his hand.  
“W-what are you doing?” Jiyong asks confused and with light sobs.  
“I'm going to show you that you are special and that normal is not that what you want to be. I will show you that love is beautiful and that life is something beautiful.”  
“How?”  
“That is not something you have to know for now.”  
Youngbae says and pulls Jiyong with him out of the park.  
“Where are we going?” Jiyong asks.  
“You don't have to know yet. It is a surprise.”  
'This day will be your awakening. It will be a perfect day.'  
  
They walk to the closest mall.   
“What are we doing here?”  
“What do you think? We are going shopping.” Youngbae turns around to look at Jiyong with a bright smile.   
“O-okay?”  
They enter a shop and start their shopping tour.   
“How about this shirt for you Jiyong?”  
Youngbae asks holding a blue shirt with a red dragon on it in his hands.   
“It's nice. Really nice but how did you know that I like this kind of shirts?”  
“You like them? Cool! Actually, I didn't know it just came into my mind. You now that YONG is Korean for dragon. And I think dragons are cool and I can see the dragon in you.”  
Youngbae says with the smile that seems to never leave his face.  
Jiyong blushes.  
'What is this? My heart beats so fast and I blush?'  
“How cute you are blushing,” Youngbae says, he can’t stop himself from laughing because of the others cuteness.   
“Y-yah! Stop laughing and I'm not blushing!”  
“You know who yells is wrong.”  
“I know!” Jiyong says and blushes even harder.   
“Do you want the shirt? I buy it for you.”  
“Really?” Jiyong asks with a surprised but happy expression on his face.   
“Yeah, come we look around maybe we find more good stuff.”  
They look through every rank and every cupboard.  
In the end, Youngbae buys Jiyong the dragon shirt, two skinny jeans and a pair of shoes.  
  
Two hours later the two of them are totally exhausted.   
“Do you want to eat something before we continue our journey for today?”  
“I have no money and I can't let you buy more for me after you bought me all these clothes.”  
Jiyong says and looks away from Youngbae because he is too embarrassed.   
“Are you okay?”  
“No, I'm embarrassed and guilty.”  
“Why? There is no need to feel so. I invited you so for me it is natural to pay for everything.”  
“But I can't accept that.”  
“Well, you have no other choice because I won't let you go now.”  
Youngbae says and grabs the other by his wrist.  
They enter a fast food restaurant.   
“See the food isn't expensive so you don't have to feel guilty. Are you fine with this?”  
Jiyong wants to refuse but his stomach tells him to just accept the offer.  
Jiyong sighs in defeat.   
“Fine. But just because it's cheap.”  
“Good then let’s eat.” Youngbae starts to smile again.  
Youngbae buys the food and they sit down at a table in front of the windows.   
“So Jiyong maybe you can tell me now a bit more about yourself?”  
“No.”  
“Why not?”  
“Because I don't want to... And you will leave me because I'm disgusting and useless.” Jiyong says as he becomes quiet by the end of his sentence.   
“I promise I won't leave you. How about you tell me only a part of your life.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“After every event, we did you tell me more about yourself.”  
“...Okay.”  
“Really?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Then start. Two events.”  
“Not here. Somewhere quiet.”  
“Okay, then let’s go.”  
  
They walk back to the park where they met just a few hours ago.  
But this time, they don’t sit down but walk around in the park.   
“Well, I'm Kwon Jiyong, 18 years old. I'm currently in my senior year in high school. I live with my parents and have no siblings.”  
“You’re 18? You look younger... What do you want to do after school?”  
“I don't know. I have no bright future because I'm not good in school.”  
“Really? I can help you if you need help?”  
“No thanks. It wouldn't change a thing.”  
“If you say so... Here is my number so if you want to try it, you can call me and we meet up. Then I will help you.”  
“You don't need to-”  
“Ji, please just take it. It won't kill you.”  
Jiyong blushes for the second time this day.  
It is the first time in his life that somebody calls him by a nickname.  
Jiyong is happy.   
“Fine, you win but don't wait for my call.”  
“If you say so...” Youngbae says because he is sure that Jiyong will call him.   
“The next thing we will do now is watching a movie.”  
They walk out of the park towards the cinema which is two blocks away from the park.  
  
They watch a film called 'Ghost' and after that, they walk to a near restaurant to eat.   
“So how was the movie Ji?”  
“It was good but you didn't have to pay the ticket for me and now the food.”  
“Ji, stop it. I already told you that I invited you and that I will pay everything we will do today.”  
“I still feel bad.”  
“Why? This can't be the first time. I mean your friends must have invited you too from time to time.”  
Youngbae realizes right away that he shouldn't have said it because Jiyong is now back to his reserved self and he built up his walls again.  
“I'm sorry did I said something wrong?”  
“... You couldn’t know this but I have no friends.”  
“You're kidding. You are nice and funny. You are a good listener. You must have at least one friend.”  
“No Youngbae there is no one.”  
“Well, then I'm your friend.”  
Jiyong knows that he should be happy after Youngbae said something that nice but something inside of him starts hurt after Youngbae said that he will be his friend.  
“Thank you Youngbae. For everything but I think I have to go.”  
“Ji. Wait!”  
Youngbae quickly pays their meal and runs after the younger male.   
“Ji. Wait! We are not finished yet!”  
He manages to catch up with Jiyong and stops him.  
He turns him around and sees the tears on his face.   
“Let me go! What do you want from me?” Jiyong yells and tries to pull away from Youngbae.   
“Ji. What is it? Why are you crying? Did I say something wrong?”  
“No! You didn't do anything wrong! It's my fault, not yours! You treat me so nice, I don't deserve this!”  
“What are you talking about?”  
“Youngbae let go!”  
“Not until you told me everything and we are at your final destination.”  
  
He pulls Jiyong with him down the street to his car. Then they drive out of the town to a hill.   
“What are we doing here?” Jiyong asks.   
“Look up into the sky. Can you see the stars? They are always there but you can't see them in the town because of the dirt in the sky. But they are always shining. We don't see them shining but they don't give up because there is always someone who watches them.”  
There is a short silence.   
“Now please tell me why you were crying.”  
“... I had a terrible childhood. My father drinks too much and gambles. So he lost his job and only my mother earns money. But my father started to beat her up because there is never enough money for him. My mother became depressed and beats me up without a reason. But then I started to stay out till late in the night so they sleep when I come home but that also means that I am tired in school and my grades drop. Now, my mother thinks that I'm useless and it would be better if I would never be born. I started to hurt myself because I think that maybe one day I will make a deep cut and die because I think my mother is right. But until now it didn't work out. So I started to take drugs but I became addicted and now I steal money from old grannies to buy more drugs. That's what I did before I met you.”  
Jiyong takes out the purse of the granny and gives it to Youngbae.   
“Take it to the police. I feel sorry for her. She was nice to me and I stole from her.”  
Youngbae nods waiting for Jiyong to continue his story.   
“I once had the dream to become a singer and songwriter but I gave up on it. I gave everything up because I don't think that the angel who will take me away from this life exists.”  
Silence.   
“Jiyong, don't give up on your dream. Remember when I said that you are special back in the park? I meant it. You are special to me. I just met you but I have the feeling that I already know you for years. I don't want you to leave this place. You are like a star who thinks that there is nobody who watches him but in fact, I'm right in front of you and I want to help you.”  
“Why? Youngbae why?”  
“Do you need a reason to help somebody?”  
“I-i don't know... You really think that I am special? I'm not a freak?”  
“No Ji. Who cares about what they say, they are just jealous. There is no normal or perfect person in this world. Everybody is weird or normal, perfect or not for another person but who cares?”  
Silence.  
They look up into the sky.   
“Youngbae?”  
“Hm...?”  
“Help me. Help me to make my dream come true. All I need is you.”  
“I will always be there for you.”  
He pulls Jiyong into a hug and places a soft kiss on his lips.  
  
Right there Jiyong couldn't be happier.  
'I gave up on my dream and on my angel. I stopped looking for him who would help me. I thought that he would never come and save me but he finally came.  
Now everything will turn into something good. With Youngbae at my side, I will be able to get away from the drugs. I will stop cutting myself. I will be able to sleep at night and be better at school because if I don't understand something Youngbae will be there to help me.  
Now I can see into a bright future... A future with Youngbae.'

**Author's Note:**

> This is one of my earlier works. It was written in September 2014 for the World Suicide Prevention Day.   
> It's the year that I found out about a non-profit organization (TWLOHA) and it kind of saved me. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed reading.   
> Hit me up on Instagram or Twitter: BlackRosesTears


End file.
